The Crux of Competition

A co-post by Patti Dobrowolski and Nancy Cranbourne

A theme that emerges in all parts of life is competing with other people.

Someone tells you about the great vacation they’re going to have, causing you to get into the braggatorium and spout off about yours.

Your neighbor re-seeds their lawn, and suddenly yours looks unbearably scrubby.

Your co worker gets a promotion. You’re not happy for them – you act happy for them, but you’re not. Instead you feel bad about yourself, but you don’t acknowledge it.

Competition is not always a bad thing. It can be healthy, like in sports. Organized sports are based on competition and teach us about teamwork and camaraderie. You learn that you are just one part of a bigger whole, that the group is more powerful than the individual.  But sports can get unhealthy too – think of those parents who live through their children and get all crazy at the game, who you wish would shut-it and let the kids play.

Lack of self worth is often the driver behind dysfunctional competition. It’s the ego run amok. It’s you forgetting you’re a divine part of the universe and there’s enough to go around.

A friend of mine used to work in a theatre, and said she could always spot the unhappy actors right off – because they were the ones bragging and name-dropping. The truly happy people were the quiet ones who felt no need to prove themselves.

This week take a look at your world. Where are you comparing yourself to others and why?  What are you missing?

Unpeel the layers of jealousy and comparisons. When you find an area you feel competitive in, here’s a few things to try:

1.  Without judgment, just witness that part of yourself.

2.  Ask yourself, where does this need to be better-than come from?  Try to get to the root of the feeling.

3.  Get down in there and forgive yourself.

It’s hard to trust that the universe is operating on our behalf. The ego tries to separate us from the magic that is happening all around us and in us. And not all of that magic is pretty, it’s often messy and uncomfortable, but it’s all helping us to become our best selves.

Reach out and ask, and ask big, for how you can change your old patterns of competition and step into the magnificence that is uniquely yours.

 

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