The Truth about Rejection and Roadblocks

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Desire + Love tap into Creative Genius You. Love is the glue that connects all of us to everything we do, to our universe, to everyone we meet, and to everything around us. When the interest or passion for something is lagging, life requires you to make a shift - to do something to help yourself move forward or you will by nature regress backwards. Love is the powerful energetic field all around you it’s the buoyant water and essence of everything. Love can lift you from the doldrums, but often you and I close our hearts to it, because of our fear. The simplest way to make a shift is to find a way to open your heart and feel the energetic ever present pull of love.

Once when I was young, I told one of my parents' friends that I wanted to be an actor when I grew up. I’ll never forget what one woman said, “Well that's going to be a tough life! You better think long and hard if you really want that.” I’m happy to say that her response did nothing to quell my desire to perform. Now I see that she was probably trying to warn me about the challenges many actors do face – constant rejection, hundreds of auditions, and long, torturous periods of wondering, “Will this ever happen?” It’s true that even with persistence and a good amount of talent, an actor may get a break that results in a fantastic role and public recognition, but even that can sometimes be short lived. And that is just to land a part. Sustaining a role as an actor requires even more introspection and hard work. I read an interview with two actors from the NBC hit drama, Grimm. about their craft. Both reflected on the immense amount of time, usually working alone, was required to unwrap the motivations behind their character in order to fully step inside of it. The picture they painted of realities of an acting career wasn’t for the weak of heart. What’s true is challenges are inherent to any career choice, so you have to trick your brain to keep pushing you forward when you really want to achieve something.

As an actor, interviews and auditions are just part of the job, as is frequent rejection. I found I couldn’t tolerate the rejection that is a given in a traditional acting career, so I decided to create and perform my own material. This proved to be more satisfying and to give me infinitely more freedom with both the content and the format of my work. I knew I wanted to be an actor, that part was non-negotiable, but what I had to do, was find how to do this in my own way, and that required that I let myself dream about what might be possible.

Instead of settling for what passed for conventional wisdom about how to be an actor, I let myself create something unique. That core belief that I am unique and who I am and what I do is the gift I was meant to bring to the world is what has helped to inspire me to keep going through multiple career shifts and difficult client work or dynamics. It has pulled to me the kinds of experiences that I need next, so that I can continue to evolve and grow. As long as I continue to proceed with a growth mindset, meaning that I know that the process might be challenging but that’s what it’s about, then I can imagine some possibilities for the next step, use my intuition to guide me and BOOM I reboot my desire to keep going.

Once you allow yourself to dream up the world you want to live in, and explore the essential heart of your dream, your desire also generates a deep and powerful force of attraction. With the window of opportunity wide open, and attention to your vision of what is possible, actual physical changes occur in your brain that drop in some serotonin, that superstar neurochemical that increases your confidence. If you are ready, you can channel this surge into immediate action to work through your list steps that move you closer to your goal. In other words, you need to take advantage of the serotonin surge!

The Truth about Rejection and Roadblocks

Roadblocks and rejection are big challenges, and at the same time, opportunities to develop better belief in yourself and perseverance. They can also be a litmus test for whether your goals are just a fantasy or an actual dream that you are ready to bring to life.

I wrote, dreamed and drew dozens of pictures of myself onstage as a speaker long before any call came inviting me to speak. Even without any outward signs, I continued to dream and draw images of the reality I wanted to create. Then suddenly I realized there was a big missing piece in my plan. I was never going to be invited to act out my dream when literally no one knew who I was or what I had to say. I had to take concrete action to put myself out there where I could be found. This led to my doing many hours of pro bono work over the years, along with rehearsing, testing, marketing my services through the web, and eventually writing my first book. Together they turned my dream into a reality. But it was the dogged work towards my goal, along with my vision of what I wanted to create that made the difference. Even now as a professional speaker, I continually challenge myself to find new ways to improve what I do.

Recently my wife Julie and I were driving through Oregon when we passed a sign on the freeway for the Monarch Hotel. My wife turned to me and asked, “Wasn’t that where you gave your first talk to a group of chiropractors?” I was suddenly reminded of that time where I took one of my first next steps towards becoming a keynote speaker. Interesting that my career was transformed at a hotel named after the monarch butterfly, a timeless symbol of transformation. I had often thought of these magnificent butterflies as a metaphor for the personal change that occurs when our perspective shifts, often when it seems that nothing is happening the way we think it should. That talk certainly changed how I perceived my place in this world as well my dedication to my dreams.

After my talk to the chiropractors, people rushed the stage (which really was just the front of the room but it makes it sound more glamorous ;-) I received lots of positive feedback and encouragement. My experience that day convinced me that I had what it took to inspire and motivate an audience. It marked the beginning of a new cycle for my wife and I as well. We had just moved to the Pacific Northwest after living in sunny Denver for many years. We struggled to adjust to the perpetual rain and cloudy skies. We wondered why we had left the familiar cocoon of our former lives to live in this dreary landscape where things seemed so hard. As a result of the talk and the feedback I received we both felt encouraged to carry on with our commitment to our dreams. Like the monarchs, we emerged with a new perspective about our lives and where we were headed.

During the initial stages of coming out of your cocoon you may feel like a fragile butterfly just getting used to its wings. Like a butterfly, you can’t emerge too quickly, or you won’t be fully developed and ready for your new life. You must develop the strength of your wings as you learn all you can about the elements of your dream and the steps you must take to get there. Remember that desire is the fuel that powers your drive. Finding out new things about yourself and your abilities is part of the unfolding. Self-reflection and personal growth are key contributors to your ability to handle your success when you manifest your goal. Obstacles are to be expected, so when you encounter them, ask yourself, ‘What more can I learn about my dream?’ or read inspiring articles to fuel your belief that it will occur. This will help you find a new solution and remind yourself this is my vision, I can be patient while I work to make it happen. All of that self-talk helps you rekindle that desire.

While desire has been defined as the act of strongly wishing or wanting something, it is much more than that. It also includes love and attachment, which harnesses your attention and directs your focus like nothing else.

Have you ever met someone who took your breath away?

Have you ever fallen completely in love with someone?

For me, when I re-met my wife Julie again at her company where I was facilitating an offsite for their IT team, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It was a sensation that resonated through every cell in my body. That kind of desire has the power to focus your attention completely and give you the drive to get what you desire. What you experience when this happens is a blast of literal chemistry, the racing heart, the sleepless nights – all of it caused by three powerful neurochemicals: norepinephrine, dopamine and phenylethylamine. The neurotransmitters of love.

By focusing on the object of your desire, turning your attention to something you are fascinated with, you imbue it with love. As you explore it using your imagination, the synapses in your brain fire again and again, merging new concepts with your past history weaving a tapestry of strategies leading to your desired goal. These patterns, with applied focus and attention, begin to shape themselves in such a way that they mirror anything you are visualizing in your mind’s eye. When you do this, it’s as if you are creating your own private force field. Whether you are aware of it or not, attention and repeated focus on something (positive or negative), creates an environment that makes it possible for that idea, feeling or thought to take root.

You have heard me speak many times about the athletes who use powerful imagery to help regain their focus on their goal of winning Olympic gold. They combine this method with rigorous physical training to achieve success. That ongoing rehearsal both cements the belief that they will win into their minds. Your goal is to identify how you can harness your desire and to channel it into action to achieve your goals.

Bringing desire into the process of envisioning your next step will fill a black and white outline of your future with vibrant color. For twenty years, I have worked with individuals and groups to create images that depict their dreams for the future. What I have seen over and over is that the most successful people combine pictures of a positive future, fill it with their desire for success and take small, but consistent steps until they achieve their goals.

Desire reboots and inspires you and those you are co-creating with to accelerate achievement. Desire aligns your brain chemistry to move you in the direction you have chosen. Desire is like rocket fuel, it is stored potential waiting to be set on fire. It’s this blast of energy that propels you forward, busting through obstacles and challenges to reach that star. It is the force behind every aspect of you and life.

When you are facing a challenge in the process of becoming who you want to be, simply envision yourself in your desired state, achieving your goals and living in that life as if it is happening right now. There’s no secret in that. The only secret is that you are made of desire, formed from desire, and exude through your attention one thing - desire. Any shift towards that which you desire is you actively using the Creative Genius Equation.

Your mission this week, should you choose to accept it is to draw a rocket ship and yourself in it…then next to it add a big massive fuel tank and on that tank write all of the things that you love about the star you are aligning your rocket towards. Then imagine yourself filling the tank and blasting off.

Big love,


Imagination x Intuition + Desire x Drive = Outcome to the Infinite Power


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